GETTING A GRIP ON ANGER

Getting a Grip on Anger

Proverbs 25:7-28
Rick Carmickle

August 12, 2018

Proverbs 29:22 “A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.”

Understanding Our Emotions

Emotions arise from three components:
 Activating event – a triggering event or circumstance we believe to be true
 Evaluation – according to our values or belief system
 Feeling – the emotional response to our evaluation of the situation

Significant Emotions:
Anger, Fear, Disgust, Sadness, Surprise, Enjoyment, Love, Embarrassment, Guilt, Relief, Shame

States of Anger: (from Less Intense to Most Intense)
Annoyance, Frustration, Exasperation, Argumentativeness, Bitterness, Vengefulness, Fury

Responses to Anger:
Suppress, Passive-Aggressive, Dispute, Insult, Quarrel, Scream/Yell, Simmer/Brood, Undermine, Physical Force

An emotion can be defective or inappropriate in three ways:
 My belief regarding the activating event can be false;
 My evaluation can be wrong or unbiblical;
 My feeling can be disproportionate to the evaluation.

How anger makes us angrier and what we can do about it.

When is anger good and necessary?
 What does my anger tell me about myself?
 When should I be angry?

The Proverbs on “How to Handle Anger”

1. Don’t escalate disputes with others.
Pr. 25:7–8 “What your eyes have seen do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?

2. Keep your conflicts private.
Pr. 25:9–10 “Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another’s secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.”

3. Speak prudently.
Pr. 25:11 “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”

4. Patience can be powerfully persuasive.
Pr. 25:15 “With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.”

5. Respond positively to difficult people.
Pr. 25:21–22 “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.”

6. Control your anger before it destroys you.
Pr. 25:28 “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”

Handling our anger biblically is an important life skill. Fifty percent of those who go to Christian counselors have problems dealing with anger. It can obstruct communication, shatter relationships, and ruin your health. Thankfully, God’s word gives us principles to follow to deal with and overcome our sinful anger.